January 27, 2010

Skeezy is for Cool People

I think I have a work wife.

Definition from Urban Dictionary: Work Wife - That person at work (same or opposite sex) that takes the place of your "at home" spouse while you are at work (no sexual relationship is part of this being!) You talk with, connect to, and relate to this person as good as or better than your "at home" spouse with regards to all things work related.

Snotty aside: the problem with using this definition is that it makes me want to edit it. With my edits it would be: A person of the same or opposite sex who takes the place of your at home spouse while you are at work (there is no sexual component to this relationship). You talk, connect, and relate to this person as well as or better than your at home spouse regarding all things work related.

The only other thing I would add is that you don't need to have a spouse 'at home' in order to have a spouse at work. So my further edit is as follows: A work colleague of either gender with whom one shares a non-sexual connection similar to the companionship aspect of marriage.

Or something like that.

But of course, in my case, it's a school spouse I have, rather than a work wife. School is funny like that. You're thrown together for large chunks of time with people you naturally have stuff in common with. Friendships happen. Even to weirdos like me.

On the very first day of school, I rushed into class 5 minutes late and frazzled and grabbed the chair closest to the door. Sitting next to me was Erika, the woman who would one day become my work wife.

When did I know it was meant to be?

It was when Erika uttered the phrase "skeezy is only for cool people."

It was after class one day, soon after we'd met. Erika and I were chatting as we made our way to the parking lot. We were discussing mullets.

"I'm not a big fan," I said. "In fact, I think they're really skeezy."

Erika stopped walking and turned to stare at me.

"Wait. Stop," she said.


"Where did you hear that word? Is that just an Ontario thing?"

"What word? Skeezy?"

"Yeah. I used that word once with a friend who's not from Ontario and she said she'd never heard it before."

"Oh. It's definitely not just an Ontario thing. I think I got it from Buffy" (Side note: I know exactly where I got it and it was from Buffy, from the musical episode - Zander and Anya's song I'll Never Tell, from the lyrics "He snores. She wheezes. Say "housework," and he freezes. She eats these Skeezy cheeses that I can't describe." I just didn't want to share that level of Buffy knowledge that early in our relationship).

"Oh okay," Erika said, nodding her head with dawning, slightly wry, understanding. "It's not just for Ontarians... it's just for cool people."


My appreciation of Erika's wry sense of humor was cemented by this gmail chat exchange about our 8:30am class:

me: good night
à demain
you know...


Erika: meh.

I'll be there with bells on

me: cool
very musical of you.

i'll be wearing pants

Erika: wow.

we're both trying out new things

Yes. Erika is funny. And because we have all the same classes there are days each week when I spend more time with her than I do with what the urban dictionary definition refers to as my "at home" spouse, and my "at home" children (happily I haven't yet adopted any 'at work' children - I can only assume they would be colleagues who expect me to make their meals and clean up their messes). We have stuff in common. We have a growing list of inside jokes (involving things like whether we've ever been to the library, mustaches and sarcasm). Our conversations consist of what can only be described as banter. If that's not the makings of a beautiful work spouse relationship, I don't know what is.

I haven't officially asked Erika to be my spouse yet. I plan on popping the question later on today and offering her a box of printer paper, as that is the traditional offering when one is proposing to one's potential work spouse. Wish me luck!


Just as an after thought:

My horoscope today says: Your life feels as if it's slowing down, but you may wish for a return to the simplistic noise from the more complex quietness.

'The simplistic noise from the more complex quietness?'


What does that even MEAN?

Do you know what I'd really like? I'd really like to return to the simplistic clarity from the more similar comparisons. Thanks.



Alyssa said...

Are work wives legal in Canada? We're thinking of proposing a ban here...just kidding, but I figured you'd know that.

I enjoyed this post. Good luck with your paper proposal.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Admin switched my line a couple of years ago and separated me from my work wife. I miss that office....

Parent Club said...

I didn't know what a work wife was (until I read your post)...now I know what is missing in my life!

Erin said...


I am so happy for you! Erika sounds amazing and I'm glad you have a work wife. Now I need to find one!

Elaine A. said...

I had a "work wife" at my job before I quit to stay home. She even brought me lunch some days. I miss her.... ;)

Coryanne Ettiene said...

popping over from SITS, love your blog, have just started to follow you. All the best, Coryanne


Helen McGinn said...

I had a school/work wife; about 3 years after I graduated, I realised she was a nutter. We divorced soon after.

To me, the "simplistic noise from the more complex quietness" is them calling you thick; I'd take it as a pure insult and send pretend death threats with words like "how's this for simplistic noise? Stick THIS in your complex quiteness!". Just because it's that kind of day.


Don't block me.


Montessori Moments said...

I saw your comment on the fb from SITS today.
I am also a Canadian blogger. Thought I'd try to visit as many fellow Canadian bloggers as possible today!
Hope you'll stop by and visit me to!

lisachelle said...

Your are so funny, I adore you. I just started reading you. I hope she said yes. And, we use skeeze (me and my sisters) all the time...but I already knew how cool i was. But reinforcement is always cool.

Elle @ A for Effort said...

I totally adore my work wife, and we use the word "skeezy" all the time. I'll have to tell her that that somehow makes us cool! I've never been called cool before! ;-)

Quirky said...

Congratulations on your school wife! (Does she have a sister? I'm in the market for a new one since I quit work. Although here we just call them "friends"). Having someone who gets your jokes makes school/work/life so much easier!

Melissa said...

Hi, As you know I don't regularly follow your blog, but I do try to catch up with it once in a while. Just read this one about your work wife (in your case, school wife). I was laughing the whole time. Hope the proposal went well!

I miss you, and I love your sense of humour! Hope you are well and enjoying Erika's company.