November 5, 2009

Ask The Reluctant Housewife - Parenting Edition

Here I sit, alone.

I am awaiting the arrival of my group project fellows. A meeting was foretold for this time and place.

But, alas! alack! I am the only one here. Alone...

But take heart! Let not my solitude be a cause of sorrow. Forsooth, it shall give me time to blog my answers to your questions about parenting:

Kimberly of Conservative Granola Mommies wants to know: I have two boys, too. They are 3 and 7 months. PLEASE tell me that it gets better as they get older and that they start to amuse themselves, safely, and don't need to be attached to me 24/7.

This is my favourite question. I have been where Kimberly is right now. You'll be happy to hear, Kimberly, that the answer to your question is yes. It does get easier. It gets much, much easier.

My boys can now do most things for themselves - they can get themselves dressed, they can amuse themselves, they can brush their own teeth, they can wash their own faces, they can clean themselves in the bath (my older boy takes showers now), they can wipe their own bums (this is huge! The only poop I deal with now is my own), they can put themselves to bed, and they sleep through the night.

I still supervise bedtime and read to them, tuck them in and give them kisses. I still make all their meals and snacks. I still need to hurry them along before school. And, of course, love them and play with them and talk to them and listen.

But it's all much easier than it was when they were 3 and 7 months. No contest.

For one thing, I can reason with them. I can explain why they can't do something, or why they can't have something and their usual response is, "Oh. Okay." Not "Waaaaaaaahn! Blaaaaaah! Snorfle! Scream!" stomp stomp stomp, kick, throw stuff; like it was when they were younger.

Monkey in particular threw terrible tantrums when he was two and three. Awful, brain bending, fear inducing, blood curdling tantrums. He never does that now. Now is so much better. So. Much.

And I get to sleep. Actually sleep... Most nights.

Parenting is never easy, but it's definitely easier right now. I'm told it will get harder again. They'll start to grow attitude problems and they'll discover girls and there will be peer pressure and decisions and worry and puberty and HORMONES.

But right now I have no complaints.

Mama Karebare of The Ramblings of a Crazy Mom asked: What's one of your embarrassing moments as a parent?

Luckily, as a mother to two boys, I don't embarrass all that easily. I don't have very many embarrassing moments to share. When they do happen, though, I blog about them. I'll link to a few and you can decide if you want to read more.

Yeah. I think that about covers it.

Mama-Face of Blog Ignoramus asked: Why is being a Mom both the best thing ever and the worst thing ever?

Being a mom is the best thing ever because of these guys:

Seriously, these are some great kids. I'm very lucky.

One of the worst parts of being a mom is the self-doubt and guilt. Am I doing a good enough job? Am I the mother these kids deserve? Am I doing this right? Am I screwing them up? When something goes wrong, I always blame myself. I know that all I can do is love them and try to do the best I can but I still constantly question if it's enough.

Another difficult thing about being a mom is the isolation and the loss of self. It's very isolating. Everyone else is at work and you're stuck at home, completely tied up in taking care of small, demanding people. You don't get to see other adults very often and when you do, they're often other parents and there's no guarantee you'll have anything in common with them. It can be very lonely. It's also easy to lose a sense of yourself. When you spend all your time tied up in caring for the needs and desires of someone else, you lose sight of your own. You forget who you are, outside of being a mom. The feeling of self-loss was, in large part, what gave me the push to start blogging again.

And now let's hear a bit about you - what do you think are the best and worst parts of being a parent? (Even if you're not a parent - what do you imagine the ups and downs might be?)

If you've got a question you want me to answer, just put it in the comments.

Coming soon - Ask The Reluctant Housewife - Favourites and Dreams Edition.

Geek girl out!



The Nag said...

You have great kids because you are a great mum.

Menopausal New Mom said...

Your boys are adorable! You must be doing a lot right.

The best part of parenting is hearing my 3 1/2 year old tell me she loves me when she gives me a hug (I am actually posting that tomorrow), the worst thing is that I look like hell all the time because 110% of my energy goes into her needs.

One of these days when she's older, I plan to get dressed and comb my hair!

Holly said...

Great post. Cute kiddos.

No one could have prepared me for being a mom. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my kids...but they can drive me crazy. I am still constantly amazed by everything they say to me and everything they do. I love watching when they figure something out or discover something new. I love that a rock or a bug is amazing. I love that my son finds pieces of asphalt and thinks they are meteors. It is the wonder of children that make it all worth it.

kys said...

I told Hubs yesterday (at the science museum) how much easier life is now than when they were very small. I keep reminding myself of this when we have bad days.

Your boys are very cute!

Noelle said...

what a couple of cuties!

i have four...from 3 up to 21 so...yes, it does get easier.

MaryRC said...

funny one of my first mother moments involved a mcdonalds playplace too..

Elaine A. said...

Those boys are so cute, really!

Oh someday to deal with JUST my poop. It's gonna be a while...

Potty training is one of the worst parts of parenting in my opinion and the best is when they walk up and say "I love you Momma!" :D

Erin M. said...

I agree---I'm ready to deal with my own poop ONLY. I think we're getting close, thank goodness.

You've said it all very well, better than I could have. I totally have that guilty feeling, worrying if I'm screwing them up (well, not "if." I know I am. I just don't know in which ways yet!).

I am ready to bid farewell to the tantrums. Those are the worst. But I know we'll swap those for something else as they get older. It's just one phase until the next, right?!?!


each stage comes with its own grief but i remember many times crying that i could not do it one more day and now he is such a wonderful son that i am blessed with

is this a new look? i am loving it

mama-face said...

bahaha. I forgot I asked that question.

The best part: almost everything

The worst part: TOILET TRAINING!!

I couldn't really add much more since you took a lot of words out of my mouth. Good post.

Haddock said...

Nice pictures