October 14, 2009

I Start Out Telling a Silly Story and Fall Down Some Kind of Crazy Dr. Phil-Related Rabbit Hole

Hubs often proofreads my posts for me before I publish them.

He tells me this one is not up to my usual standards.

I think: My usual standards? Whatever they are - if they exist.

He tells me it feels a bit like talking on the phone with me while I'm watching TV.

I think: And that's a bad thing?

He tells me I sound like I wrote this when I was feeling bitter.

I think: Huh. Maybe my sorry attempts at humour fell short... Very short.

And maybe, just maybe I was feeling a little bitter... who wouldn't be bitter watching Dr. Phil after they visited Walmart, I ask you?

Not to worry, though, I am all over happy right now.



So here, darling readers, is a post not up to my 'usual standards'. It's bad AND long. Score!

So I was in Walmart this morning.

I see you judging me. Cut it out!

I needed toilet paper.

I went after I dropped the kids off at school so I was there right after they opened... The Walmart staff were still setting up their departments, stocking shelves, arriving, putting on their bright blue smocks.

I was wandering through the drug store section, looking for replacement razor blades for Hubs. There were two women working there who were setting up prices and stocking the shelves, we'll call them Katie and Joyce.

Oh wow! This post is interrupted so that I can share my thoughts about what is on the TV right now. Dr. Phil just came on.

I see you judging me. Cut it out!

I wasn't watching it, I was watching Eastwick on the PVR and it ended, the PVR stopped and there was Dr. Phil. And, yes I watch TV. If you want to use that fact to feel all superior because you don't, go right ahead. More power to ya, ya poor entertainmentless slub, ya.

They're talking about stay-at-home moms vs. working moms and there's this woman on and she's so judgmental. She said, "I just think that if you don't have time to have your kids then maybe you should give it a pass." Who is she to tell other women they shouldn't have had their kids?

Then she said, "I just don't think there's anything you should be doing other than raising the children you helped create." Dude! Some people HAVE to work. They'd love to be home with their kids, but they can't be. Some people WANT to work and that is also a valid choice. Who died and made her queen perfect mother, anyway?

Then another mom said that she has 3 kids under the age of 2 and she was looking forward to going back to work and that she was feeling burnt out. Judgmental woman answered, "I don't think catering to our feelings is really what we should be focusing on as adults." Well, let me ask you this - if we don't look out for our own feelings, who's going to? Hmmm? I'll tell you who. Nobody. That's who. We have to take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. That's an important part of being I mom. I HAVE SPOKEN.

Also? I do not like this woman.

Do. Not. Like.

Oh and hey! Check it out. There's Dooce. Dooce on Dr. Phil. Huh.

Gah! Judgmental woman just made one of the working moms all teary eyed! God.

Oooh! Judgmental woman just got called 'sanctimonious' by one of the women who works behind the scenes on the show and judgmental woman replied that the bible says she has a right to be judgmental. Um, no Judgmental woman, I think that what the bible says about judgment is 'Judge not, lest ye be judged." But I might be wrong. What do I know about the bible? Not much, probably. Then the woman who works on the show said, "That's opinion, not judgment. There's a difference." Judgmental woman sneered and replied, "My judgment keeps me out of trouble so I'm just going to go ahead and be as judgmental as I want."

Wow. What a lovely woman. Really sweet. So full of love.

Oh! Now they're talking about daycare. I have thoughts on that: Why is daycare so hard to find and why is it so expensive? They have subsidized daycare here. You qualify for it based on your income. However, in order to make use of the subsidy, you have to find a subsidized spot in a daycare. They're extremely limited. I don't understand that at all! If they're going to offer subsidized daycare, why aren't all the spots subsidized? It's based on income, so only those who qualify would take advantage of it, it's not like they'd have to subsidize all the spots. It shouldn't be such a struggle to find a spot. It's awful. With this system the people who most need the work have the hardest time finding daycare they can afford. What the hell kind of fucked up system is that, seriously?

Hey Canada, get that fixed, would you?

What was I talking about?

Right. Walmart.

Again I see you judging me. Cut it out!

I needed toilet paper.

Oh never mind. Who cares about my silly Walmart story anyway?

Oh fine, here's the short version:

The girls working in the pharmacy? I think they were stoned. They were speaking in silly accents, making fun of the announcements over the loud speakers, yelling things like "I knew these were on roll-back! I have to find a nine! My job is so hard!" and laughing until tears rolled down their cheeks.

Like, for example, the loud speakers said, "Would all staff please come to the front cash for the staff morning meeting."

The girl chorused, "Come to the front for the staff morning meeting," in their silly accents and then they fell all over the place laughing.

So my point? Yeah. I really don't have one.

The end.



Cairo Typ0 said...

hehehe I disagree without your husband: i think its a great post!

"I just don't think there's anything you should be doing other than raising the children you helped create." I'm sorry but my mother did raise me but she also held a full time job, paid the bills, and kept a roof over my head. I think those things are kinda important to raising a kid. Hmmmph!

PS I watch lots and lot and of tv! :p

scrappysue said...

funny. random, but funny.

that working mum v SAHM mum never goes away. personally i always feel like the working mums are on the back foot (i ALWAYS felt that, not just now i am one!) but that's just my opinion.

not judgement. opinion.


Tammy Howard said...

I like you when you're not up to your usual standards.

I didn't see Dr. Phil, but they're talking about it all over the blogosphere this morning, so I'll watch the Today Show to see if there are clips and if not I'll look for it at Hulu. Because I want you to know I don't judge you for watching TV.

And I'm headed to Walmart today because the new KISS CD is only being sold there and online and the hubs really wants it. That's probably a worse reason than needing toilet paper. Which I should probably pick up while I'm there, come to think of it...

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

LOL...Perfect Post...tell hubs to suck it!!

Loukia said...

Hey I like reading random posts... it was well told! ;) I had judgementy women, too.

One Cluttered Brain said...

I too disagree with your husband! You are funny. Funny funny lady! Thanks for sharing. I REALLY enjoy your humor.

caligal said...

Katie and Joyce were definitely raised by working moms. That's why they smoke pot and work at Walmart! See you did have a point. I am new here, must say above is sarcasm in case I get negative response.

Jen said...

Your hubby doesn't know what he is talking about. That was too funny.

Erin M. said...

I think JP is being judgy by saying what he did about this post.

He's wrong. Opinion.

I love all of your posts. And I think I loved the Wal-Mart part because it didn't really have a point or relate to the Dr. Phil stuff. Which makes me laugh, which means it's a good post.

It also validates my own blog, as some of my posts are pointless and just thoughts I have while I'm watching tv.

Nothing wrong with tv,I say. As long as you're also reading and doing other things to work your brain. LOL!

Erin M. said...

p.s. something 4 u over on my blog...

Daffy said...

....this is exactly why I do not watch Dr. Phil...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! See! Repressed anger... not good, not good.....