August 24, 2009

Be Careful What You Wish For

I've always felt that I missed out on a basic female relationship because I don't have a sister. I pine for someone to help me pick out my clothes for big events, for someone to hang around and drink coffee with me and bitch about life's little annoyances, someone to shop with, someone I can call up and they'll always be available. Someone who will build me up when I'm down and bring me down when I get too full of myself. Someone who is always there and who loves and accepts me for being me.

I always wished I had a sister.

In high school I used to travel with a friend's family at March break. We each had a brother two years younger, but no sisters. We both wished we had a sister and decided we might as well pretend.

We used to tell people we were sisters. We didn't look all that much alike, she was much taller than me and we had very different facial features. But her father and my mother are both naturally red-haired and we both look like the non-redheaded children of redheads: fair and freckled with natural twinges of red in our dark blond hair.

When we told people we were sisters, they always believed us.

We have very different lives now but we keep in touch. She told me recently that she believes we've known each other in past lives; that we actually were sisters in some long distant, other past.

She and I have a very different way of looking at life. I'm not sure if I believe in reincarnation but when she tells me we were sisters, I want to believe her.

People sometimes claim to have seen me places I've never been. When this happens, they always accuse me of behaving in way I never would.

In my first year of university, I was living in residence and failing miserably at fitting in. The rooms in the basement of my coed residence were all occupied by male students. The basement rooms quickly became party-central and the basement boys formed a fraternity-like bond. A few months into the school year, I attended a party in the basement. I was sitting watching a card game when one of the basement boys sat down next to me.

He smiled a knowing smile and asked, "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine. Why?"

"I just wondered because you were so drunk last night."

I looked at him, confused. "No I wasn't," I said. "I don't drink."

His smile changed to a frown. "You're lying. You were down here last night and you passed out in my friend's room."

I shook my head, "That wasn't me."

He looked around and called out to another of the basement boys, "Was Mel down here drunk last night, or not?"

His friend looked at me. "I don't know. Whoever it was sure looked like her but if she says she wasn't, I believe her."

"I don't," said his friend, "it was her."

"It wasn't me!" I was starting to get annoyed, "I've never been drunk."

He rolled his eyes, "Whatever." He got up and I was left alone, wondering who had been in the basement, drinking until they passed out while wearing my face.

Years later, in Toronto, I was out at a pub with some friends. It was my first time visiting the pub, which was some distance from both my home and my school. The waiter handed us our menus and smiled a knowing smile in my direction.

He came back a few minutes later and took our drink orders. My friends and I all ordered cokes.

He grinned and said with a wink, "A coke? That's not what you were drinking last night."

I squinted at him in confusion, "What?"

He smiled, "You were here last night with a group of friends. I guess you don't remember because you were pretty drunk."

"That wasn't me. I've never been here before."

He insisted, "Yes you have. You were here last night. I never mistake a face."

I sighed inwardly and decided to just go with it.

"It must have been my twin sister. She and I haven't been in touch in years but I think she lives nearby."

I ignored my friends' shocked faces and went on with my story.

"She's pretty wild," I told him. "Not at all like me," I smiled.

He smiled back, "She sure is! She danced for half the night on that table over there and had to be carried home by a bunch of her friends."

"Yeah. That sounds like her."

He went off to fill our order and my friends asked me why I'd made up a fictional sister.

I explained that this wasn't the first time this had happened to me and that I was tired of not being believed when I told people it wasn't me they'd seen. "I'm just so tired of being accused of showing up and passing out everywhere I go, so I invented a sister to take the blame."

I always wished I had a sister.

But instead of the close friendship I craved, I got a wild, drunken pseudo-sister who preceded me to parties and restaurants and created an undeserved party-girl image everywhere she went.

Somehow it's just not as satisfying as I thought it was going to be.

Lesson learned: Be careful what you wish for.

Thanks to Erin at The Mother Load for this award:

I great big pink fluffy heart adore Erin. Head on over to her blog and tell her I said hi!

I'd like to pass this award on to everyone who loves art, dance, theatre or design.



Toni said...

Ha! Brilliant story! 'They' do say that everyone in the world has a double - maybe yours is just a little too close to home :-P

Erin M. said...

I love this post. I think I love the first part especially because I could have written it. I have two younger brothers, no sister to speak of. Have always yearned for one for all the same reasons...sigh.

Affordable homes said...

I love your story. I do believe in reincarnation. Thank you so much for sharing!

Jenn M said...

I have a sister. Believe me it was (and still is) no picnic. She would steal my clothes, call me names and beat me up when we were younger. As an adult she hasn't changed a bit despite my wanting to have a "normal" relationship with her. I'd take 12 brothers over 1 sister anyday : )

Lee said...

Don't you wish you could meet this drunk girl just once! I don't have a sister either, but I do have a sis in law. But, we don't do sisterly things...she's not that type of gal. Oh well.

Turtles In North Dakota said...

I have two.....Want one? Both maybe???I can make you a deal.REALLY cheap.Ü

mama-face said...

LOL. I get the I know you from somewhere all the time. One of my worries is that they might be talking about my actual, real life sister. haha. I am totally serious.

Awesome story telling skills.

Elaine A. said...

Do you think it was the same girl?? Sounds like it. That is too funny.

I've always wanted a sister too. I used to have imaginary ones when I was a kid and I even had them "bug" me. That's how bad I wanted one... ; )

L~ said...

so that was creepy! and very funny!!

Ginny said...

Once upon a time at a party, I watched this guy that I had, go over to my younger sister, and start talking to her in an overly familiar way. She had to go through what you did, and I'm pretty sure at that moment, she was wishing she didn't have a doppelgänger sister.

ZenMom said...

Oh wow, I can so relate!

In college, I was constantly mistaken for this other girl who, apparently, was my doppleganger physically, but WAY more outgoing than I was socially. Even her ex-roommate once thought I was her!

It got so I didn't even blink when strangers wold come up and call me by her name. Looking back, I kind of regret not trying to meet her. Might have been fun. ;)

Jen said...

Wow thats crazy. I hope that someday you run into her and smacker her. ;)

Amber, The Unlikely Mama said...

This post made me weepy for some reason.

I don't have a sister. A full one anyway. I have 2 half sisters who are 10 and 11 years older than me.

I thought I was going to get the relationship you (and I) crave. My brother married a girl I became very very close with. She was my me anyway. When it all went sour it was heart breaking. I think I would have been better without :-(

The Nag said...

If I weren't so much older than you I could be that drunken sister.

Pam said...

That is weird and more than a little creepy. Love the imaginary sister story to handle these creepy episodes!

That Girl said...

hi, stopping by from SITS.
thats hilarious that you were mistaken so many times. Maybe one day you will run into her.

Jenn said...

That was great!

Dee said...

Funny as long as she is not committing a crime. Then you'd better have a solid alibi.

Buffie said...

Kindof freaky actually.

I was once in Panera and looked across the room to see a woman that looked a LOT like me. It was freaky. We both just stared at each other for a minute or so, but neither one of us made a move to talk to once another. Haven't seen her since.

Gerbil said...

I had a doppelganger back in the day. Unfortunately, she was spotted by my then-H and my BIL and their work crew at Good Guys. Which is a seedy strip club. "And she looked JUST LIKE YOU! Only... she had boobs!" (the following scene deemed too violent for public consumption)

So yeah. That evil twin thing? Not always a positive.

Mama Karebare said...

What a great story!!!! Funny too!

Lizzie said...

i love this story! great post :)

Chelsea said...

Haha. I love it. I do have a sister, I'll start blaming her for things I don't want to claim.

Sara A Broers said...

Thanks for sharing this great story! I am enjoying your blog- I'm now following you!

Theta Mom said...

I love your story because it represents me as well. No sister to speak of. Thanks for sharing. :)

Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas said...

I get those comments too. "You look just like (insert name)!" Usually it's someone they don't like, though.

Ami said...

Awesome story! I'd happily be your sister. I have a younger sister, but always wished I'd had an older one, too. I hope I was a good sister (you'll have to ask her, I suppose), but I think there were plenty of times when she (and I) wished there was only one of us. As always, the grass is greener...

John Deere Mom said...

I love this story! Wouldn't you love to meet your "sister"?! :)

Michaela said...

Sisters are great at times, but not always. Maybe my one sister and I have had such a rough time because we are so close in age (13 months apart)... who knows.
That's just crazy that you had a double like that!

Working Mum said...

Are you sure it isn't you and you immediately forget about it because you are so drunk? (Just kidding!) How weird. They do say we all have a double somewhere; wouldn't you like to meet her to see how alike you really are?

Helen McGinn said...

Now, I actually have that twin sister! Only kidding sis, if you're reading this............!

Don Mills Diva said...

Mayeb your "sister" is your alter ego and you actually have asplit personality.

Just sayin'- that would make a hell of a movie.

Theta Mom said...

I know I already commented on this, but I wanted you to know I've just given you an award on my blog! Yay!

S.E. Sward said...

I've never been told I was seen the previous evening doing god-knows-what, but I'm frequently told I look like someone else. I have one of those faces, I guess. They say we all have a Doppelganger out there. Looks like yours is totally wild.

Happy Sunday Shoutout from SITS!

Eva Gallant said...

What a fun story--I guess maybe not so much fun for you!

I had 2 sisters. The oldest one died of cancer quite a few years ago, but the other and I are really close, even though we live nearly 2 hours apart. We talk everyday, several times a day, on the phone. Thank heaven for unlimited long distance!

Just stopping by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same!

Eva Gallant said...

What a fun story--I guess maybe not so much fun for you!

I had 2 sisters. The oldest one died of cancer quite a few years ago, but the other and I are really close, even though we live nearly 2 hours apart. We talk everyday, several times a day, on the phone. Thank heaven for unlimited long distance!

Just stopping by from SITS to say hi; hope you'll do the same!

JennyMac said...

What a story...I have been told I have a double too..hopefully she behaves herself. HAHA.

Scarlet said...

Oh, the beautiful irony of this story...I love it!

One Cluttered Brain said...

Scroll down past a million comments! You are so creative in your tales! Kinda creepy that someone looks just like you. Wierd and wild stuff. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for having a blog. The past 6 months i have been quite reluctant in housework because frankly I HATE doing it. I am getting better since i have moved. It does make me feel alot better when i am better organized. And when i am better organized, maybe my blog won't be such an unorganized mess.... Really random thoughts just come to my mind ALL the time, ki probably should end this comment. anyway Good work! i LOVE to read your blog.

Lisa Chelle said...

I loved this... classic be careful what you wish for.

My sister certainly is a treasure, and this blog made me appreciate her more.

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

Great Post!!