June 4, 2009

Others Expect A Lot From You

My horoscope this morning: Others expect a lot from you right now.

I feel bad for them. I really do.

I'm busy: We're moving a week from tomorrow and I'm responsible for everything that goes with that. I spend my days trying to pack and clean (I have to keep the house really clean in case the landlord wants to bring potential renters through) in between picking the kids up at school twice a day (Monkey is still in half days), making sure the kids aren't getting into thing they shouldn't and that they aren't hanging out windows or doing anything equally dangerous, making meals, letting the kids play outside and taking them to soccer, guitar lessons, gymnastics and swimming. I don't have a lot of extra time. Yesterday I spent the day running errands and cleaning. I didn't get any packing done and the house still looks like Amy Winehouse after a bad night.

I'm stressed: I have to take a French test soon because some parts of the program I've applied to at the local university are taught in French. J'ai la langue un peu rouiller (my French is a bit rusty, or if you want an exact translation: I have the tongue (or the language) a bit rusted). If I don't pass the French test I can't take the program. I have a meeting with the head of the faculty on Monday. The meeting is important. I still don't know if I'll get into the program.

I'm officially loosing it: Last night, after a frustrating day of running errands and cleaning and not finding the time to get any packing done, I was getting ready to take the boys to soccer. I fed them supper, did homework, packed their snacks, grabbed extra sweaters and sent them downstairs to get their shoes on. I went downstairs to get them into the car and remembered I hadn't grabbed their jerseys. I went back upstairs to look for them and found them still wet in the washing machine. I freaked out for a few mintues then I ran upstairs (we live in a 3 floor townhouse - garage and entryway on the 1st floor, living area on the 2nd and bedrooms on the 3rd) to try to find t-shirts in the team colours that the boys could wear instead. At that point we needed to leave immediately or we'd be late but when I arrived back downstairs the kids still hadn't put on their long sleeved shirts or their shoes. I lost it. I yelled, "Why are you not ready yet? WHY?" then I stomped back upstairs, threw my purse and keys across the room, yelled, "I'm not going anywhere," and went to bed. After a few minutes of laying on my face practicing deep breathing, I got up and yelled down to Hubs, "If you want them to go to soccer YOU take them." He had been planning to go and mow the lawn at the new house, but he took the kids to soccer instead.

I watched TV in bed and fell asleep at 10:30pm, or so. I woke up at 1:30am needing to pee and couldn't get back to sleep. I kept thinking of everything that needed to get done and what steps I needed to take to get it done. I pictured myself getting the packing done: filling boxes, taping and labeling them, sorting items to be taken over to the new house ahead of the move and taking down curtains and filling the holes left by the screws. I pictured myself getting started on the painting at the new house: painting the baseboards first, letting them dry then dusting the walls and rolling on tinted primer followed by the paint. I pictured myself taking down the ugly wallpaper in the kitchen and fixing the damaged paint in the bathroom. I pictured moving in and where I'd place the furniture. I pictured myself, after the move, returning to our current house and leaving it nice and clean. I pictured taking the French test and enrolling in the intensive French course in August. I pictured my upcoming interview: answering questions cleverly in French and English. I finally managed to relax and fall back asleep at around 6:30am. Hubby woke me up at 7:45. I made lunches and sent all my guys off to work and school.

Now if I can only rock everything as well as I pictured myself doing last night.

There's just one problem: I'm so tired from all that over night visualizing that I probably won't get much done today, even if I try.

Damn it. Foiled again. Stupid brain. Stupid stress. Stupid me.



Studentmum said...

I was exhausted just reading it! Sometimes a yell & taking to your bed is the only solution - children have no sense of urgency about going out do they?

How come your classes are in French - is it a feature of US Grad school generally? I would fail that bit dismally.

Lins said...

Mercy sakes, lady! You're one busy woman!

I was just swinging by from SITs...you were a couple comments above me in Roll Call today! Gotta spread the comment love!

Have a blessed Thursday...and consider yourself "followed." I must see what other sorts of fun you have!

Cairo Typ0 said...

I agree, i'm pooped just reading all that! We're lucky and have paid a bit extra to be packed up for our last few moves. Mostly because its the only way Hubby has survived alive this long.

If you can study through osmosis why not pack? Sit down near the boxes and they will pack themselves! :p

CC said...

D'oh! What a time!!! But I sure do love that picture!

scrappysue said...

moving IS the 3rd most stressful thing you can do. coup dans là mon ami

Michelle Sybert said...

seriously, you are one talented writer, girl!

Double Dipped Sweets said...

Deep Deep breath...you will be okay!

Congrats on SITS!!

Tiffany said...

Totally BTDT! Story of my life, actually.