May 26, 2009

A Higher Power, Fate or the Universe

We were supposed to be moving to Toronto in August for Hubs' new job. We'd already started looking at places to live and planning our lives there.

I was supposed to be starting school at U of T in September. I worked hard to get into the program and I was so excited to have been accepted.

But it's not gonna happen.

Hubby's job in Toronto fell through. Blame the economy - it's totally its fault.

We found out a few weeks ago. At first I was devastated. No job meant NO JOB. No job meant no income. No job meant: Oh my God! What in the holy hell on a hockey stick are we going to do now?

I pictured us having to move back to New Brunswick and live in my mother-in-law's basement. I pictured us all jumbled in together trying our best not to get on each others nerves and failing spectacularly; trying to keep the kids under control so that they wouldn't destroy the paint job and the furniture; trying to decide, four adults together - all control freaks - what to have for meals every evening. I imagined a crowded, passive-aggressive nightmare in which we'd all try to live together in harmony while hiding our seething rage and stress under tight smiles.

But that's not going to happen either.

It wasn't long before Hubby was exploring job opportunities in Halifax, Toronto and locally. His best leads were here, where we've been living for the past year. We talked about it and decided staying was probably best for the family. It's lovely here and the kids are settled in school and have great friends. Hubs and I have also formed friendships with people. We know where the good restaurants and shopping are. We've figured out the best routes for getting around. We have memberships to several of the local museums. We're happy here.

The decision was still devastating for me, though. What about school? I started working on getting into the Masters of Information Studies program years ago - upgrading and finding references. I was so excited to have been accepted at a school which, if it isn't the best, is among the best of the Canadian universities. I freaked out for awhile (there might have been tears and heartfelt soliloquies, but I'll never admit it) then I took some deep breaths and went online to the local university website to see what they had to offer. I was surprised to find that, starting in September this year, for the first time, they are going to be offering a Masters of Information Studies program.

Starting in September this year.

For the first time.

Just for me, apparently.


I got my application in right away. I'm waiting to hear if I'm accepted or not. After applying to U of T and waiting anxiously to hear and finally finding out I'd been accepted, it's hard to have to wait and not know all over again . I can't take my acceptance into the program for granted, I'm not guaranteed a spot. It's scary because I want it so much.

Changes, man - stressful stuff. I've been roll-around-on-the-floor-kicking-and-screaming-while gnashing-teeth-and-ripping-hair stressed for weeks. But everything seems to be falling into place in an amazing way: the local university is offering my program, Hubby found a job, we found a little house we like in the catchment area for the boys' school. As long as I get into the program at the school and manage to find daycare for the boys; as long as Hub's new job doesn't fall through; as long as things stay the course, then this has worked out for the better. Life is going to be downright peachy.

And, I gotta tell ya, if everything does fall into place it will be such an amazing series of events that I might just have to start believing in a higher power, fate or the universe.



B said...

That would have been heartbreaking to know you couldn't go to school there when you busted your butt. Things do happen for a reason though, I believe that. And as for those series of events, they totally happen! Because of a series of events that are too strange to mention in a little comment box I am moving. It's strange to look back and see how it all laid out. Why are we suppose to be doing this? Who knows. Sometimes we find out, sometimes we don't. I'm crossing my fingers that you get into the program though. You'll be blogging about great news soon I hope!

Studentmum said...

I will keep all fingers and toes crossed for you.
There is an award on my blog waiting for you - I was a bit worried when I started reading your post that it was not an appropriate one for you, after reading it (with relief) I think it is!

I kind of agree with B's comment - often things do happen for a reason & your post sort of confirms that. Good luck with the application I will be thinking of you.

Cairo Typ0 said...

Sorry to hear life has gone all tipsy turvy on you. **hugs** Good luck with the new ap! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. :)

Oh, and where is "here?" LOL

L~ said...

I think that things just happen and we assimilate, or we don't. Everything ends up working out, b/c life is so fluid. You can choose to look at this as a crisis, or the way your opportunity to explore other options. Good for you!! Your kids are learning so much about resilience!

pam said...

I am sending good vibes your way!

Be sure to drop by and enter my giveaway. It is from a great Canadian Etsy shop!

Elaine A. said...

Wow, that is a lot going on! I'm sorry about not being able to go to the other school but that is pretty amazing that the local one is now offering that program and it's also wonderful that your husband was able to find another job so quickly. I think it is meant to be for you to stay.

And I can TOTALLY relate to the changes since we are moving in a month. A MONTH! ACK!

Good luck with everthing...

Katie said...

I always believe things work out the way they are supposed to, even if it is unexpected. You'll get in for sure!

Sweet Mama Jones said...

Curve ball huh? I'm sorry to hear things didn't go as planned, but keep your chin up & eyes out - cause something good is bound to be on the way.
Stopping by from SITS. ;)

Frantic Holly said...

Much luck to both you and your husband.

scrappysue said...

i KNOW how ya feel!!! it's all looking really good tho!!!