April 20, 2009

Who Would Win

Welcome to the playground in my head. You'll like it here, there's free popcorn.

So, here's what I'm wondering - Who would win a fight between the following people:

Lindsay Lohan VS. Paris Hilton

Lohan: I'll get you and your little dog, too. Ahhahahaha!
Paris: OMG. That's so hawt.
Lohan: Grrr!

Paris won't defend herself because she's afraid of breaking a nail. Lohan seems like she'd fight mean, too.

Lohan wins.

Dinosaur VS Godzilla

Godzilla is fictional.

Dinosaur wins.

Me VS Cats

A cat and I face off. I break out in hives, I get congested, my eyes get all teary and puffy and I get short of breath. I can't see, I can't breathe and I'm covered in itchy red bumps. However, I have zero effect on the cat. I try saying, "Psssst! Go away, cat!" The cat looks bored, yawns and curls up to sleep in a sunny spot on the floor. I go to bed.

Cat wins.

Wolverine VS. Spiderman

Spiderman is stronger and faster, but he's a lot less mean and (this is key) Spiderman doesn't kill people. He didn't even kill that crook who killed his uncle.

Besides, Spiderman is a whiny little wuss.

Wolverine wins.

Tyra Banks VS. Ellen

I think Tyra Banks can probably shoot laser beams from her eyes, don't you? Failing that, she can just talk: "I am the queen of FIERCE. Congratulations, you're still in the running to be America's Next Top Model."

Ellen will be to busy dancing to notice anything is going on.

Hard to say who wins.

Jay VS. Silent Bob

Jay and Silent Bob face off. Bob tilts his head to the side, looks at Jay and shrugs. Jay says: "I can't stay mad at you Silent Bob. Come here, you fat fuck." They hug.

They both win. Bromance is a beautiful thing.



scrappysue said...

i can't STAND tyra banks - she's such a narcissist. on the other hand, i adore ellen, so i'm rooting for ellen! as for LL v PH - they deserve each other!!!

loving the new design - how you do those buttons across the top?

Elaine A. said...

I knew I liked you for a reason. You know who Jay and Silent Bob are. You rock.

; )

Adlibby said...

and this was the day I came to love the reluctant housewife. ;) You're crackin' me up. So glad I stumbled over here.

I think Ellen could take Tyra in a dance-off, but a cat would kick my sneezy wheezy ass too.

Paige said...

lol! This is great. I think tyra and ellen would collapse in an orgy of self-acceptance and celebrity love.

laala said...

First of all: :D

Is it strange I actually really started thinking about these? :) Funny stuff, glad I found you!

Jen said...

you are too funny. totally cracking up over here!

Cammie said...

LOL. This was funny! I roll called under you in SITS today so I wanted to pop in and say hello!

Loukia said...

Haha! Hilarious. I think Ellen might be able to pull of the win.

Alex the Girl said...

Godzilla is to real. It's so for true.