April 21, 2009

Things That Shame Me but Probably Needn't

The other day we arrived home to find a broken window - the outside pane of the living room window had been broken by a neighbourhood child with a ball (how cliché is that?). I called the landlord and they arrived quickly to remove the broken pane.

Today a man arrived to measure for the new window. I was embarrassed because the house is a mess. I told him that if I'd known someone was going to come in, I'd have cleaned up. He told me not to worry, that he has kids too, and he understands that the stickers, markers and paper scattered everywhere are just part of having kids around. Nice guy. I wish this kind of thing didn't embarrass me. Honestly, what a waste of emotion. So my house is messy. Who really cares? I'm sure I'm the only one who does.

I found out that, at school yesterday, Buddy ran out of food and had to go to the office to get a snack at second snack time. How embarrassing.

I've been sending him with a sandwich and veggies and two snacks. Usually he eats one snack at first snack, his sandwich and veggies at lunch and his second snack at second snack. Yesterday, though, he must have been particularly hungry because he ate his apple and his veggies (carrots and cucumber) at first snack and his sandwich and second snack (mini bear paws, berry flavour) at lunch. At second snack time he was sent to the office where they gave him a cheese and crackers and some kind of seed-based bar (Buddy told me that it tasted like seeds but it didn't have any seeds or nuts or anything kids might be allergic to in it and it wasn't a granola or a Nutrigrain bar - obviously it was some kind of food of the future or something).

Buddy does this every once in awhile. He'll eat a certain amount and then, suddenly he'll have a growth spurt and he'll need more. I just wish I'd figured it out before he had to go begging at the office. I'm sure that I don't need to be embarrassed, though. My child needing a little extra once in an entire school year does not, I'm sure, make anyone but me think I'm a bad mother.

So we had the following conversation this morning:

Me: I heard you ran out of food yesterday and had to go to the office for a snack.

Buddy: Yeah

Me: So how many snacks do you need to last the day? Three? Four?

Buddy: Four would be CRAZY!

Me: So how many do you need?

Buddy: Three.

Well, I'm going to cover my bases. I sent him to school today with his sandwich and veggies (carrots, cucumber and orange pepper) and four snacks - two little clementines, an apple, a Nutrigrain bar and some goldfish crackers. I hope that'll keep him fed until 3pm.

I hate that inadequate, shamed feeling. HATE it. How about you? Can you relate?



B said...

girl, I'm with you on the house bit. I clean like a mad mother, but in reality no one ever notices when it's a sty. Actually, I think I blogged about my insanity in regards to that once.

Debbie said...

Wow. He is a big eater! No wonder you can't figure out how much to send.

Natalie said...

i think most everyone would understand both the house thing and the snack thing!

i tell me friends that they are welcome to come over whenever as long as they don't judge me on the condition of my house. now if i invite people over i make sure it's clean.

snacks...well kids grow. i bet the office is used to it!

Jennifer said...

I am embarrassed when my house is a mess, and someone comes over. You are right though... totally a waste of emotion.
But you really shouldn't be embarrassed about your son needing an extra snack once in awhile. At my son's school there are kids at the office every morning needing breakfast and lunch... never mind snacks. Those growth spurts will get ya everytime.

Paige said...

First of all, "Four would be CRAZY!" is the funniest thing I've ever heard!

Why doesn't the teacher keep some small snacks around? Seems less embarassing (for the kid) than going to the office.

I've always been obsessed with my house being perfect before someone comes over. I mean if you don't call fist you aren't getting in. I'm starting to realize I need to relax my standards. When I die I won't wish I'd dusted one more time right?

Sally Jane said...

Completely normal feelings, all of them. The fact that you are embarrassed about your kid missing a "snack" shows that you care about him, his feelings, and whether he gets enough to eat. The fact that you're embarrassed about your house, well, yes. Totally wasted emotion. especially for strangers. I'd rather keep my home clean for the people who live in it, than the visiting plumber-landlord-contractor-whatever.

I think you're a perfectly normal mom.

Studentmum said...

I can relate on the house bit - it's like seeing my house through someone else's eyes. I also hate it when my kids say - oh 'friend' gave me one of her snacks today cos I didn't have one'! I cringe, they don't usually take snacks in the first place - say they don't want one, then I feel guilty and imagine what the other mum must think!

Working mum said...

We can't win, us mothers. If I send more snacks I worry that she'll eat what she doesn't need and end up with a weight issue! Help!