April 14, 2009

My blog is boring.

Hi there.

Today I was reading a site that reviews blogs. Well, to be precise, it doesn't so much review them as tear them apart. But that's their M.O. and they're clear about that. The name of the blog? I will fucking tear you apart.


They reviewed a mom blog and the review was harsh. Way harsh. Did you know that people who aren't mom bloggers hate mom bloggers? We write drivel while sitting on our ever expanding asses and neglecting our children, apparently.



Whatever.



And then I was reading all these How to blog and How not to blog articles. And I'm doing a lot wrong. My sidebars are too cluttered. I'm not sharing my opinions about things that matter enough. I'm not sharing enough of myself here at all. I'm just babbling on and on and not really saying anything. My blog is boring.


Whatever.


But it makes me think, you know? What am I going for here, exactly?


I'm not changing lives.


At least not anyone's life but my own.



I won't be submitting my blog for a review at the review site because I don't want them to tear me a new one. I already have one, thanks. And one is enough.

But you, reading this, you should tell me - if I'm not talking about politics or religion or popular culture or current events, if I'm not spouting firm opinions while dropping f-bombs - does that mean I'm a waste of your time and a waste of cyberspace?

Because I gotta tell ya, that's what they're saying out there.

.....

90 comments :

Sass E-mum said...

I didn't understand what blogging was about till I was a mum. It gives a very solid frame of reference to opinions and babble alike.

I don't enjoy many non mum blogs - it helps if they are about things like cooking and women's rugby.

As for the f-bomb and cynical sophistication, that all passes me by.

I'd far rather see photos of cute boys in crochet hats. They rock my boat.

rightonmom said...

Have you ever taken the blog personality test? Mine turned out to be 'The Entertainer.' Perfect. If folks feel somewhat entertained by my writing, all's well. By the way, I like yours and will likely be back!

Hi from sits!

Elaine A. said...

Whatever is right. If you're not a Mom yourself, yout can't talk, at least that's what I think. "Mommy" blogging saves some of our sanity, in my humble opinion. Who cares what "they" say? ; )

B said...

If you are boring you aren't alone because I am there, and so are a bazillion of the other blogs out there.

Yah, us mommy bloggers are hated by those who aren't, but why? What is there to hate? We aren't out there telling people what to think, who to be, we are here to connect and chuckle. If that is a waste of cyber space they shouldn't let just anyone blog. Since it isn't restricted I say we keep doing our thing.

For one, I read very little mommy blogs, but because I need a reference to who I am outside being a kick ass mama. That being said, the connections I have made are mommy bloggers and I am thankful for them.

I do know many people who neglect their kids to sit on their computers and blog, but let's throw that net out to collect every woman who has a child and a blog shall we? What do those reviewers know? I blog when my kids are napping, or before they wake for the morning. Do they know I take my kids to the zoo, roll on the floor with them, and make them homemade baby food? No. So to clump us all in that ridiculous group of theirs is crap.

But one question. Who says we need to be reviewed anyways? Why can't we do this because it's fun? Why can't we make friends and be better woman because of those we meet through blogging?

Wow, look at me motor mouthing along! Let's sum this up. Keep blogging. Who cares what those holes think. But that's my personal opinion, but isn't that all that REALLY counts? ;)

Reluctant Housewife said...

B - Your opinion certainly counts more than theirs, to me anyway. PS: I always want to reply to your comments, but you're a no reply blogger.

Sass - thanks. I'd rather read the mom blogs I follow than giant spumes of hate, too.

Right on mom - Hi there. Nice to meet you.

Elaine - I totally agree. It saves my sanity and allows me to have fun while being creative. what's better than that?

Parent Club said...

Your blog so ISN'T boring. Whatever is right!

Thought provoking happens -maybe you are inspiring someone to take on a hobby, do something with their kids, do something for themselves. You don't need a post on global economics for this. You are inspiring in your own way.

Alex the Girl said...

B is absolutely right. Besides, what are the reasons you blog for? You blog for you (shrug) and if they dont' like it, dont' read it. Seriously, though, that review site really wasn't the place to submit to if she wanted her blog reviewed accordingly to her audience. I did like your responses to them, though. Ah, ignore me. I'm rambling now.

B said...

To show my undying love for YOU I have made it possible for the world to now contact me through email. ;)

Mommy (That's my name, don't wear it out.) said...

Your post really hit a chord with me!

"If I'm not talking about politics or religion or popular culture or current events, if I'm not spouting firm opinions while dropping f-bombs - does that mean I'm a waste of your time and a waste of cyberspace?"

This comment you made was perfect. I obviously disagree as well but I think many do feel this way in cyberspace and in REAL life. Many people have the jaded view of SAHMs sitting on their asses with nothing to contribute to the world except hands for wiping butts and snotty noses, whether they are blogging or not.

Not true. Most SAHM were someone else before kids. Most SAHM moms are educated, thoughtful and opinionated on world issues. Most SAHMs are sacrificing of personal time and energy. Most SAHM Moms are bigger people than most will ever be.

What we have to say is just as important to our current lives even if it is not ramblings and self righteous opinions on current events and politics. For me blogging is therapeudic, like journal writing. Would anyone shred and tear apart a person's innermost thoughts? That's what Mom blogging is for me- an outlet to express myself. I don't need to feel bad or apologize for not sounding as "hip" or as "worldly" as the next guy, and NEITHER DO YOU!

I wouldn't even waste my time valuing that blog's opinion. Bad Karma. ;)

Caution Flag said...

Here's what I have to tell myself every day: I started this blog so that my far-flung family could see what my kids were doing. The fact that I've made friends is simply a bonus. I'm not making news. I'm not even reviewing news. I'm not Pioneer Woman. I'm me, and most days that's enough :)

Jennifer said...

Your blog is sooo not boring! I figure a blog is a different thing to each and every person who blogs.
I sometimes think that mine isn't winning any awards either, but I enjoy jotting down my thoughts and things I find interesting.

I am off to check out your crochet blog.... love crochet!

ps- Found ya by way of SITS!

Reluctant Housewife said...

I love all my readers, you guys are the best.

See? I've just proven by way of the awesome, thoughtful, intelligent comments I have here that mom bloggers are not a waste of oxygen. Bo yah.

Katie said...

Meh. I think if they're so boring then don't read them! Yours isn't btw -- if I want to read an in-depth news article I'll go to my local paper. I'm just happy to connect with other moms who are going through the same parental crap I am, and making me laugh is always a bonus.

Our Crazy Life said...

I think people who want to tear other people down are insecure idiots! Don't even give them the time of day.
Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

L~ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michelle said...

Yeah... because Person A deems something good or not good, therefore, it is so. I'm just not really into all that. It's fine that they have their opinion, but I happen to have my own.

The Nag said...

I know someone who submitted his blog to a similar site. He was torn to pieces and it didn't seem to bother him a bit - in fact he wore the blistering comments like a badge of honour. During the blog awards each year a couple of competitors make disparaging remarks about my blog and I am cut to the quick.

scrappysue said...

first of all mel - we love you and your blog - don't leave us!!!

second - i don't know what abhorred me more - that AWFUL awful blogger who clearly failed english in school, or the hoards of her sycophantic commenters!

i told her she's just bitter coz she can't stay at home with HER kids!!!

your blog is your OWN blog, and that goes for each of us. end of story

WIDNEY WOMAN said...

I'm following you on twitter now and saw that you can't go to sleep because you are up reading blogs. Well, your up anyway.... Check out mine!
widneywoman.blogspot.com

And um...Screw that site. Your blog is great. Or at least this 1 blog entry I read indicated a generally acceptable sense of humor that I happened to enjoy immensely. Well, of to bed for me. I'm not up procrastinating on blogs....

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I think all that is nonsense - that are certain blogs for certain people and if you dont' like them - dont' read them! move on - there are so many other 's to read and devour and love!

Working mum said...

I agree with Sass e-mum. Very few non-mom blogs get my attention and if I want lots of politics and serious stuff I'd read a newspaper (which I don't). Neither do I blog for reviews, awards or book deals, just for fun. A record of my time as a working mum. The readers I've acquired along the way are just a lovely added bonus.

I've been reading your blog for a year now and I'm not tired of it. Moving home, starting college, a Christmas Carol everyday of Advent, crotcheted penguins? What's not to love? Blog on!

musing said...

I lurk at Ask and You Shall Receive and want to give them a good spanking on the one hand (which, come to think of it, they'd probably enjoy) and a round of applause on the other. I hate how they go about doing what they're doing, but I can also appreciate how they encourage (I use that term loosely) bloggers to aim higher.

I just wish they'd do it in a more constructive way!

Reluctant Housewife said...

Musings - Hi, thanks for your comment.

Constructive criticism is the thing. They claim in their FAQ page to be offering constructive criticism to bloggers in order to improve the quality of the blogosphere. If they took out that one word "constructive" I would not be complaining. I haven't read all of the reviews, but the few I read varied - some did indeed contain constructive, though always harsh, criticism. The one I link to, though, was just a flat out smack down and an attack on all mom bloggers. Not cool.

I think they need to get a dictionary and look up the word 'constructive' because, like Inigo Montoya pointed out in The Princess Bride about Vizzini and the word inconceivable, I don't think they know what that word means.

Love Bites said...

For the record, and since you've linked to the blog:

I AM A MOM.

Secondly, I specifically linked to a SAHM whose blog I LOVE.

Third, I based my review on what that specific mom had written ABOUT HERSELF, and the content of her blog.

The most constructive criticism I felt I could offer her, as a mom of a teenager and a pre-teen, is that the baby and toddler years will fly by. Don't waste them spending half the day on the internets. They will be gone before you know it.

If you don't find that constructive, sorry. As a mom, I sometimes believe that the nicest thing I can do for someone is a swift kick in the ass.

Consider it that.

ghost of keywork said...

Did you really read the review, Gash?

Betsey Booms said...

This is just me leaving you a comment.

Mostly because the lovely Love Bites reviewed my blog. At the time it was a boring, horrid mom blog.

Is it still a mom blog? Possibly.

However, I received very constructive criticism from Love Bites and I followed it and had excellent results.

Just thought that I would share my experience and how great it was.

Reluctant Housewife said...

You know, for a site that makes its M.O. criticizing other websites you sure seem to touchy about anyone criticizing you. You might want to work on that.

Love Bites and Betsy - thanks for stopping by and for your comments.

Ghost - don't you ever do anything other than spew hate?

ghost of keywork said...

Um, you aren't criticising Ask, you are taking words out of context and misrepresenting the site.

I'll make you a deal:

I'll stop spewing hate when you stop spewing libelous pleas for attention and approval.

Gwen said...

I'm a mom and I blog so I guess I'm a mommy blogger, too. What I'm failing to understand is how you took a review about a specific blog and interpreted it as the reviewer hating all mommy blogs. She did not say that at all. She criticized that particular blogger and then linked a mommy blogger who she actually liked. The reviewee, who I assumed read the FAQ at Ask, was well aware of the style of reviews on that site. She asked for a review and got one. You are wise not to ask for a review because you don't care for the opinion of the reviewers at Ask. I guess I just can't understand what exactly you think the reviewer did wrong. The blogger asked for her opinion and the reviewer gave it. Also, I don't think Gok needs my defense here, but all he did was ask a question. How is that spewing hate?

Reluctant Housewife said...

I find it very interesting that you are all so upset that I disagree with you and find what you said in your review offensive. I don't have anything against Love Bites personally. I just didn't like the review.

Aren't you trying to offend people? Isn't that partly the point of what you're trying to achieve at your site? You should be happy that you got a reaction out of me. I linked to your site. That's not a bad thing.

You give criticism. Why are you so unwilling to accept any. I'm actually curious about that. It's odd.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Gwen - Gok is calling me "Gash" which is a reference to calling me "axe wound" earlier.

I have a right to have an opinion about the review. And she did say that awfulness of this particular blog proves what she always thought about mom bloggers.

What I can't understand is why they're so upset to have someone disagree with them.

ghost of keywork said...

Personally, I'm upset by your inability to grasp a simple concept.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Okay

Which simple concept is that?

Miss Missives said...

There's a big difference between getting touchy about criticism and pointing out the inaccuracies of someone's argument.

Love Bites said...

Blogging is a dialogue. Is this supposed to be "place where everyone agrees with reluctant mom"? You linked the blog and commented on it. Thus, I assume you want a conversation.

Or, did you just want to be a passive aggressive holier than thou twit?

The topic of the conversation you've raised on our blog and yours is that we are big meanies who crucify mommybloggers.

The problem with that premise is that many of the reviewers are also moms, and many of those we've reviewed favorably are moms (including many SAHMs).

If you hate the site, fine. I'm sure a lot of people do. But, misrepresenting the review pisses me off because it's just passive aggressive bullshit. I would encourage people to actually READ THE GODDAMN REVIEW, and the blog linked, before taking the word of reluctant housewife on anything.

You want to be aggressive? Grow some balls and just be aggressive. Cut the passive aggressive bullshit (though why I expect anything better from someone who is a "reluctant housewife" is probably a reflection of my hopelessly idealistic streak).

The review in question.

ghost of keywork said...

Go thoroughly read the FAQ, RH, really read it. Then get back to me with that 'innocent victim, didn't know what she was getting into' bit.

Love Bites said...

And, in reference to your comment about us "encouraging" blogs to submit so we can rip them apart...

Here is the introduction of our submission form. Yeah, we just twist those arms right off to get people to submit.

/sarcasm.

Okay. Having read the FAQ, you need to realize that if you now subsequently submit your shitty-assed blog to our site, with its ugly black letters on top of a pea-green background, we are going to rip you a new hole to shit through. I'm not joking here. You will get reamed. It's a promise. After the reaming, you will be redirected to the FAQ. You know, the one you should have read BEFORE submitting.

At present, it is taking up to 4 weeks...yes, you heard me correctly...4 FUCKING WEEKS...for us to get through the reviews in our little queue. So, we will get to your review when we get to it. We review 5 blogs per week, on a first-come, first-served basis, and that's as fast as we're willing to go.

By submitting your blog here, you are giving us your permission to love, hate, loathe, despise, cherish, or feel ambivalent towards your blog. Blogs are personal, and thus, we also may not much like YOU. By submitting your blog here, you are opening yourself up for any and all criticism we may decide to dish out. Be aware of this, and don't act like a whiny pansy-assed bitch.

ghost of keywork said...

Thank you, LB, I was looking for that from earlier.

Reluctant Housewife said...

There's also a difference between making an argument and having an opinion.

The blog address is www.iwillfuckingtearyouapart.com. Stating that they tear blogs apart is neither libelous or inaccurate. It's right there in the URL.

I found the review harsh. That's an opinion, not an argument.

I did not say she was an innocent victim. I just wish that some advice on how she could improve had been offered up in the review. I didn't find it constructive. That's what I'm saying.

ghost of keywork said...

Your words:

They reviewed a mom blog and the review was harsh. Way harsh. Did you know that people who aren't mom bloggers hate mom bloggers? We write drivel while sitting on our ever expanding asses and neglecting our children, apparently.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Look we ARE having a conversation. I'm not deleting your comments or asking you to agree with me.

I am stating my opinion and I'm not changing my mind.

And as to your request that I be aggressive - what is it you want me to do? Call you names? Get mad? Tell you where to shove it? Just what exactly is it you find passive about this? and where did I say you had to agree with me?

Betsey Booms said...

Oooh, my favorite part is how this is all some kind of "surprise"!

Don't you kind of know if you criticize and link that you're going to get comments?

You do? Oh riiiight, that was the goal all along.

Drama does create traffic.

This is in no way a criticism as much as it is an astute observation.

And, yes, I do declare which observations that I make are astute and which are not. I've actually never used the word astute before right now.

Reluctant Housewife said...

And I can't congratulate you on popping your cherry on the word astute without you assuming I'm attacking you.

That's what sucks about all this.

Of course I expected comments. I didn't expect the review site authors and supporters to care or notice that I'd blogged this. I'm flattered that you did. I'm surprised by none of this and I'm not sure why you think I am.

Betsey Booms said...

I'm not offended.

Just say my cherry was astute and we can carry on.

Love Bites said...

Sweetheart, focus.

Your words:

They reviewed a mom blog and the review was harsh. Way harsh. Did you know that people who aren't mom bloggers hate mom bloggers? We write drivel while sitting on our ever expanding asses and neglecting our children, apparently.
YOUR WORDS. Do you see that they were perhaps a wee bit inaccurate? This is called taking responsibility for one's actions. It's a valuable parenting lesson.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Works for me.

Very astute of you.

Love Bites said...

Of course I expected comments. I didn't expect the review site authors and supporters to care or notice that I'd blogged this. I'm flattered that you did. I'm surprised by none of this and I'm not sure why you think I am.
It's always surprising to the passive aggressive when people do indeed take them at face value. And, why wouldn't we comment? Just like you return the favor to your commenters, so do we. ;)

Now, put on some lube and enjoy the traffic. I'm sure you are one who checks her sitemeter A LOT.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Yes those are my words.

I found the review harsh. Way harsh.

People do hate mom bloggers. I've seen quite a bit of it lately. They do indeed thing that, in YOUR words, "the vast majority of these chicks sitting at home on their ever-expanding asses, watching way too much daytime television, ignoring their offspring, and amusing themselves online while their toddler attempts to french kiss the power outlet."

Where is the inaccuracy exactly?

ghost of keywork said...

Vast Majority. Not 'every single last one of them'. Tell me, was English your first language?

Love Bites said...

Do you understand that the criticism of her was ABOUT HER? And that her blog indicated that she does precisely that? Spends all day blogging while her ass expands? And, that she has a great deal of company out there on the interwebs?

Is your ass expanding? Do you feel insecure about your life choices? Please, feel free to talk about it. This is a safe place.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Yeah. judge away. site meter smite eater.

And, honey, I don't need the lube.

xo

ghost of keywork said...

Um, RH, unless you've spent time in prison, I can assure you that you are going to want the lube.

Reluctant Housewife said...

It absolutely is and Welcome.

I think we're all enjoying ourselves.

I do tend to over personalize this kind of thing, so touche with that one, Love Bites

Thanatos said...

Greetings. I'm not a mommy blogger, and don't read any of them. But I've been on the net since nearly it was less than a year old. Suffice to say that outside my interest group (or target demographic), there's very little I take seriously.

Constructive criticism is what you make of it, regardless of it's thrown at you. If it makes sense and helps, take and use it, otherwise let it go. Keeps the heart healthy.

My $0.02. Peace.

Love Bites said...

I think this is a good summary of how most of us feel about mommyblogging. I think you missed it in your zeal to get all offended.

Love,

Some of the other moms who blog, but who would never, EVER, refer to ourselves as mommybloggers because that is so 2006

Reluctant Housewife said...

Thanks for the link. Interesting stuff.

It's the "housewife" moniker I don't like, much more so than "mom blogger". I also really hate "soccer mom".

Love Bites said...

As a skater mom, I abhor the term soccer mom. It makes me want to punch someone in the kidney.

Reluctant Housewife said...

See? We have something in common after all.

Gee.

Love Bites said...

I already knew we did. I used to have functioning ovaries, before I paid the doctor to detach them from my vagina so that I would never, EVER, reproduce again.

You're the one who assumed, babycakes. ;)

That mommyblogger sucked. Read her blog and tell me that my review was not the best advice, bloggy and lifewise, that she could have received.

I don't hate all moms who blog. I do have a surprising degree of disdain for ostensibly well-educated and competent women who subsume their intelligence, interests, and attention into examining the navel lint of their offspring.

Hence, the much-repudiated "mommyblogging" phenomenon.

Just because you know your vagina works, y'all, doesn't mean you can turn your brain off. Capiche?

ghost of keywork said...

LB, stop trying to make her read.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Who me read? Nah. I have a program that says all the words out loud for me. And it tells me what all the hard words mean, too.

It's the only reason I can function.

ghost of keywork said...

Let me know when you get around to these words:

'jellyfish'

'conviction'

'dignity'

'blind'

Love Bites said...

It looks like this, Key

Reluctant Housewife said...

How did you know? You must have one too.

ghost of keywork said...

Bummer, I don't see a jellyfish anywhere on there. Also, isn't there supposed to be a spot for a potential cactus?

Reluctant Housewife said...

Yeah... you have to get them customized.

Love Bites said...

They sound like this, Key:

"Stroke my ego. Give me affirmation. Tell me that it's okay for me to exist. Tell me that my life has meaning and purpose. Tell me I'm not really boring and braindead! Tell me, TELL me, TELL ME!!!111!!!!"

I think that the manufacturer eventually took them off because the real parents found the jellyfish v. v. annoying.

ghost of keywork said...

RH, I see a possible endorsement deal here.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Have your people call my people and we'll do lunch.

ghost of keywork said...

I totally would, if it weren't absolutely against every thing I hold dear.

Kay said...

You won't catch me reading any kind of scientific/technical blog - I just don't get it. And I think that's the deal with the non-mommies out there.
I don't care what the blog is about, or what category it falls into. If the content and the writing interest me, impact me, make me laugh, I'll keep coming back.
My kids are long past the baby stage, so there's a lot of mommy blogs that just don't hold my attention. I'm not doing the whole teething/diapers/preschool thing anymore. But if the PERSON writing can grab me, then I'll keep reading, regardless of their family dynamics.
I'd be terrified to submit my blog to that site... and I've only glanced at it, I didn't have the heart to keep reading!!!

I happen to like your blog, and so do many others, judging by the comments. Keep blogging for whatever reason it is that you do it. We'll keep reading. Screw the judgmental ones.

Betsey Booms said...

Ghost, just between you and me and these mommybloggers (myself included), I know just what it is that you hold and call 'dear'.

ghost of keywork said...

Yes, Betsey, you certainly do. I'm half tempted to recycle one of my barbs I threw at you last week. I'm beginning to see who it was really meant for.

ghost of keywork said...

I love how you're the reviewee now, RH.

Reluctant Housewife said...

I'm the reviewee?

What?

god how terrifying.

ghost of keywork said...

Damnit, I meant 'victim'. Sorry.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Well that's a relief.

ghost of keywork said...

Well, I am a giver.

Love Bites said...

Just don't eat the biscotti, RH. Pull a Barbara Bush, the ultimate mommyblogger, and just say no.

Love Bites said...

Also, RH, I seriously hate your guts for your beautiful kitchen. Hate, hate, hate.

Calamity said...

Ask is insidious, isn't it? Any minute now you'll love us. You won't be able to help it.

Love Bites said...

I can already feel our dark influence starting to impact RH. Heh. She'll be on the dark side, eating our cookies, in no time.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Oh my god! There are cookies?

Why didn't you just say so?

Betsey Booms said...

Because they like it if you are just there because you want to be. Not just because you like really bitter cookies.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Actually I prefer chocolate chip.

ghost of keywork said...

I prefer vertebrates.

Love Bites said...

p.s. dirty little secret here...my evil post has accomplished it's intended goal. It bothered you so much it made you think about it, and then post about it, and god knows what will happen after that.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Hmmmm...

I'm thinking world domination, followed by drinks and nibblies.

Love Bites said...

psht. drinks first, then world domination. Then, nibblies. Because world domination is hungry-making.

Loukia said...

OH my God I thought at first maybe I'd submit my blog for review, but after reading her review of the other mom blog - no thank you! I can't handle that kind of attack! EEK! Scary.

Your blog is great, so have no fear.