April 17, 2009

I Hate it When You Call Me That

So yesterday I was in the playground and there was a dad there and he snapped some pictures of his son with Buddy and Buddy's best friend. Buddy's best friend's mom ('s sister's boyfriend's second-cousin-twice-removed's dog's former owner (not actually - I just find those long lists of relationships deeply funny)) asked him to email copies to her. I asked if he'd email them to me, too. He smirked and said, in reference to the photography, "Honey, it's what I do for a living."

Don't call me honey, you pompous man. He didn't take my email address, either, the insert rude name of your choice here. (I'm thinking 'douche' fits fairly well)

'Honey'. I hate that.

Last year, I was out with a friend and we were browsing in a shop. My friend knew the woman who was working there. They started a discussion about peanut butter. My friend doesn't like salt and she was saying how she can't eat regular peanut butter - it's too salty. Peanut butter is a subject on which I consider myself a bit of an expert because my personal three food groups consist of peanut butter, coffee and stuff other people make me. So I jumped in and told her about the peanut butter I buy. I like the all natural 100% peanuts peanut butter.

The shop keeper shook her head, "Oh honey, that stuff is just like paste."

I said, "You have to make sure to buy the 100% peanut stuff, that stuff that doesn't have sugar but still has the shortening added so you don't have to keep it in the fridge is nasty. That's the stuff you must be thinking of."

She rolled her eyes.

'Honey' indeed. What a know-it-all.

'Honey'. Gah! It's so condescending. They always use that special tone of voice people seem to keep for just such an utterance - like they're trying to be patient with the village idiot or something. The sound of it makes my brain melt out my years every time.

In fact, 'Honey' bugs me so much that I'm here a year later complaining about it.

And 'Woman of size'. Gah!

If you have to refer to my size - which you don't, it doesn't make me who I am after all - call me overweight or fat or chubby (just don't call me late for dinner HAR! (stupid joke, but made funny considering I'm talking about being overweight, no? No? Oh okay then.)). 'Woman of size' is something people say when they're trying to spare fat women's feelings but still call them fat. It sucks. Like I said yesterday, I'd rather be insulted than lied to because at least then I can defend myself.

Aside: I had an uncle who once, during my teen years, called me fat. I told him, "I might be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet." He laughed, slapped me on the back and congratulated my parents on my ability to produce a good come back.

Another aside: When I was living in residence in my first year of university ('university' is Canadian for 'college'), I overheard the guy down the hall saying, "She thinks she's all that, but she's really just fat and ugly." That was cold. Note to people who say this kind of thing about other people: Chances are you've misunderstood something. In this case, he thought that I thought I was better than him. I was just really shy. Overhearing this did not help. I transferred to a different school as soon as the year was done. Sometimes people SUCK.

And 'Mom'

This one is okay if you're my child. However, if you did not come from within me or you do not have a paper claiming that I have custody of you please do not call me Mom because I am NOT your momma. I am not making you a sandwich or getting you a band aid and I am certainly not going to help you wipe after you've gone to the bathroom. Just so we're clear.

So, to sum up: Don't call me 'honey', 'woman of size', 'mom' or late for dinner.




Sally Jane said...

You are on a roll these days! Your posts are definitely keeping me in good spirits! Sorry you're annoyed at everything though. Feel better soon, hm?

Reluctant Housewife said...

Sally Jane, My bad mood is worth it if it's kept you in good spirits. Thanks!

scrappysue said...

can't i just call you mel?!?!?!

i'm not an aficianado on peanut butter AT ALL. hating nuts probably has a lot to do with it.

hun's ok, but i'm with you on the whole honey thing

Alex the Girl said...

My three year old calls me honey. It cracks me up.

Reluctant Housewife said...

Alex - that's so adorable. It'd be fine from a kid... My husband calls me 'hon' sometimes and that's nice.

I think it's more the tone of voice and the attitude I object to, more than the word itself.

Jenn said...

Sweetie drives me nuts! Honey by anyone other than my honey is condescending, you're right. I admit to being a person that uses "Mom". When I photograph families and I've forgotten names, and that happens a lot.

John Deere Mom said...

You are on a ranting marathon! LOL I hate the honey too...especially if it comes from a woman younger than me. Drives me crazy!!

jill said...

wow....i've missed so much this week. i can't stand to be called "chick" or labeled "stay-at-home" mom - who puts 700 miles a week on her car "stay at home"...whatever.

my daughter's coworker freaks out if you call him a jerk. he asked her to refer to him as the a-hole. really...i wouldn't lie to you.


An ugly dude had better not call me 'Darling' or 'Sweetie' or 'Honey' - or anything, really. But the cute single guy next door can call me 'Darling' all day long.

Elaine A. said...

You got a bee in your bonnet these days dontcha? (just for the record, I like you that way...) This made me laugh - a lot.

I t"honey" was just a Southern thing but apparently not...

Loukia said...

Oh, honey! I'm so sorry! OMG I'm just KIDDING! Please don't hate me... I also hate that, being called honey. It is very condesending. (sp?) Especially when the person saying it does not know you! And eww especially from that man!

Julie said...

What about Darlin'?? Great post! Living in the South, I hear lots of honeys, sweeties, and sugars. Slays me every time!