September 18, 2008

Just Some Stuff I Want to Get Off My Chest

1. To the guy in the grocery store parking lot:

If you are waiting behind a car that's signaling to turn left into a parking spot and there is another car coming, don't try to pass on the left. You could have been hit by the car in front of you when it turned left into the parking spot it was waiting for or you could have hit the car coming towards you, MY car, head on. Neither of these options are ideal. You need to WAIT. Just like everybody else. Where did you learn to drive, anyway? Idiot school?

2. To the guy behind the window at the farm museum:

Hasn't anyone told you that the farm museum does not need a diva?

Me: I'm sorry, but I don't have my membership card with me.

Guy: Do you have I.D.?

Me: Yes.

Guy: Keep your membership card in your wallet from now on. My boss might tell me to stop checking for memberships in the computer for the people who don't have their cards. Then you'll be sorry.

Me: Yeah. I didn't really come here for a lecture...

Guy: Of course not. Here are your member stickers.

Me: Thanks.

Guy's window: SLAM!

3. To the radio station I was listening to today:

What is up with that ad for the afternoon drive-home show? "We're not vanilla we're wild cherry ice cream with whip cream on top... Dripping down the sides... Mmmm.... Ohhhh... And with chocolate covered cherries on top. Mmmm... When our lives go vanilla we like to crank up the flavour!" Someone needs to get this person a sandwich, because they are obviously really hungry. Or am I the only one hearing the warning signs?

4. To the gym:

It was more than a week since my last visit and I was tired and full of junk food... but you still let me in. Thanks. I feel better now. Who knew that exercise was the road to happiness? ... It certainly works better than an overdose of coffee, ice cream and Veronica Mars.

And, added bonus, I have to point out that the coffee, ice cream and Veronica Mars feel much more justified after my work-out.

5. To Monkey:

I'm glad you're not screaming my name and having hysterics every time I drop you off at school, like that other kid. He gets dropped off by his Dad, who I overheard explaining to another parent this morning, "It's a good thing I'm dropping him off. This would break his mother's heart... But I'm a rock." He dropped his little boy off and walked away without looking back while the poor little boy screamed, "Daddy! NO! I want to go home! Daddy! Daddyyyyy!" I could not do that, I admire his calm.

So thanks for being such a confident, independent little guy.

It's hard enough letting you go. You look so grown up waving goodbye to me as you follow the other kids into the school.



scrappysue said...

i just don't understand why people are so rude all the time! well, i do - because it's EASIER, but really, it's so much more rewarding to be NICE!!!

Elaine A. said...

I HATE parking lots - hate 'em. They're full of idiots.

That last one almost made me cry (I'm a little EXTRA sensative right now it you get my drift...)

Amanda said...

My husband is one of those idiots in the parking lot. He gets so aggressive it's horrible to ride with him. I want to yell apologies out the window to everyone he antagonizes.