February 2, 2008

Misadventures in Potty Training

On a typical rainy Saturday, shortly after Buddy turned 3, I decided to take the kids to McDonald's so that Buddy could play in the playroom. It had only been a few months since he was potty trained so the first thing I did was to take him to the bathroom. He peed, but he was unable to poop. We had lunch and then he went to play.

Twenty minutes passed with no problems when his face suddenly appeared in the window of one of the tunnels overhead. He gazed down at me with the innocence of angels. I called, "Hi Buddy!"

"I peed and pooped", he announced.

With impressive calm I told him to come down. When he finally made his way out, he was wet and poopy. This was a shock because it was his first accident since he'd been toilet trained. I guess it was poetic justice that when he finally had an accident, it was in a big, theatrical way (in my mind anyway - I don't think I can imagine a worse place to have one... Except maybe one of those big ball rooms). I think he waited until it was too late because he was scared that if he told me he had to go to the bathroom I wouldn't let him come back to the playroom and playtime would be over.

I took him into the bathroom and cleaned him up. I didn't have any other pants so he had to go to the car in his raincoat, naked from the waist down, like a very small flasher.

After we were done our clean up and surfaced from the bathroom, everything in my head and heart was telling me to just get the hell out of there, but I knew my conscience would torture me later if I left without coming clean (so to speak). So I went up to a teenager who was cleaning the floor with a mop and said, "I think my son had an accident in the playhouse."

She said, "Oh, no.... Do you know where?" So I interrogated Buddy and he admitted it was in the yellow tunnel. And, as the poor girl went to clean up his mess, we headed for home.

When we arrived (psycho music starts here) I put the kids in the bath. I considered this to be a very normal thing to do after a pee or poop accident. Monkey had a poopy diaper and I cleaned him off on his change table before putting him in the water. So, I had both kids in a nice bath with all their bath toys and I sat down in the bathroom to give them time to play. Suddenly (and without warning) Monkey made a tell-tale grunting noise. I looked in the bath to see that he had taken an enormous man-sized poop in the water. I panicked, "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no... What do I do?" I wasn't sure whether to scoop the poop out or to get the boys out or what.

I rescued Monkey, who was just about to grab a handful, and sat him on the floor of the bathroom, then I rescued Buddy. I got a cleaning cloth and put it over the drain so the poop couldn't escape down. I drained the tub and moved all the toys to their net (where they're stored). Then I cleaned the poop out of the tub, cleaned the tub three times, put the kids back in and got them clean... put them in their beds and told them to stay there until mommy had everything cleaned up. I put the toys in hot soapy water in the sink and started cleaning the bathroom (which from my point of view at this point was completely contaminated).

That's when Hubby called from school (he always did suffer from terrible timing). With nary a hello, I growled "You have to come home right now!" He said "Why?" You can imagine my reply.

Needless to say, he came straight home. I finished cleaning the bathroom, washed all the bath toys, put them in pots of water on the stove to sterilize them. Cleaned the kitchen sink three times. Gathered up the towels, dirty underpants and shorts from McDonald's, along with everything that the kids and I had on during the day's ordeal. And when Hubby arrived I went to the laundry room and put the laundry on, came back, jumped in the shower, got dressed and went out to the movies for a well-deserved break.



The Tripp Family said...

HA! That's funny (but only since it didn't happen to me :) The other night my son was in the bathtub in the next room and I hadn't heard anything in a minute or so, so I said "what are you doing in there." He's 2. He responded "poop" so Mommy came a'runnin and sure enough there was a floatie. This was not our first incident. I recommend keeping a disposable cup handy; the key of course is to get it before it disintegrates.

~SHANNON~ said...

Oh my goodness....this made me laugh. And then get very worried! My daughter is 10 months old, so we havent started potty training yet. Wow- a lot of adventures ahead of us, eh?

:)A fellow SITSA!

Shannon at:http://milkandcuddles.blogspot.com/

Erin M. said...

I realize this is an old post, but I'm reading it for the first time and ROFL because I have posted similar stories from our own potty training times. Only fellow moms really "get" stuff like this. Yay for you for writing it out loud!!! and I'm glad you went to the movies afterwards!