Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Were you aware of this?
Flying Spaghetti Monster
posted by reluctant housewife at 7:56 PM 0 comments
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Good Luck Dinner
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
And an UGLY DOG for the Birthday Boy!
Yesterday was Baby’s 1st birthday... Granny and Poppa came for lunch and we had a little party, his official party is this weekend. We gave him an Ugly Dog... It's one of the Ugly Doll Collection. It's a soft and comfy plush toy, with one eye and four little legs.... well it's hard to describe, but you can check out the website. I'm sure we'll be buying more ugly dolls in the future. We found it at this cool little Comic book store called Strange Adventures in Town.
Okay, I just took my garbage to the garbage chute on my floor and some asshole has left his 5-6 bags of garbage in the room where the chute is located... There are signs in the room that say if the garbage doesn't fit in the chute to carry it down (1 floor down BTW - just 1 floor!) to the garbage room. Oh and get this... The bags aren't even too big for the chute, Mr. LazyLoserGarbagePants couldn't be bothered and has decided to clutter up MY life... I find this very annoying.... Not to mention if this person can't read the sign, what are they doing in a University Dorm, I ask you?..... Yeesh!
Okay I'm feeling much better now... Thank you for listening.
I have a theory about cleaning.... Well, not so much a theory as an observation... You clean and clean and it just keeps getting dirty again. Take laundry for example... You work so hard washing and drying and folding and putting away... But the clothes you're wearing while you do this are getting dirty, hence you're creating more laundry just by being out of bed... I think I might embrace nudism and I'll eat directly off the table with my hands to keep from having to do dishes.... Except then I'd just have to keep cleaning the table. So that's no good.
Maybe I'll just wrap everything in plastic-wrap so that when it's dirty, I can just peel the wrap off and rewrap it and voila clean as new! No, not good for the environment... Or for the general aesthetic of my home... And having everything wrapped in plastic might make me look a little crazy and I wouldn't want to give anything away... People should have to get to know me first.
It's just that cleaning seems like a vicious circle. If you don't keep cleaning, the dirt seems to breed and multiply, so you have to keep up with it or suffer the consequences. I didn't clean up last night before bed, which I usually do... But I was beyond exhausted last night (the baby is teething - enough said) so as a result I spent double the amount of time it would have taken to tidy last night cleaning this morning.
It used to be (many many moons ago when I was in University) that when my Mother-in-Law (Hi Granny!) would visit the first thing she'd do would be to grab a broom and start sweeping the hallway. "I'm just getting the last of the dirt!" she'd say in a cheerful voice... Well, she doesn't do that anymore, which I take to mean that my house-keeping skills are improving. Either that or she's too distracted by the Grandchildren....
Conversations with a 3 1/2 year old
Me: Want to go for a walk?
Me: Okay, climb up in the stroller
Repeated several times over the next 10 minutes as trying to get both kids ready and in the stroller.
Buddy: I wanna walk!!!!
Me: We'll see when we get outside, right now just get in the stroller
Buddy: I wanna walk!!!!
Me: Okay, how about this, you can get in the stroller and we'll go outside or you can go lie down on your bed.
Buddy: Outside and walk!
Me: Stroller or bed.
Buddy: That's not much of a choice!!!!!
And, earlier this morning:
Buddy: Look at this piece mommy!!! (of train track) It has colours all on it!
Me: Yeah, it looks someone coloured it with crayons... That's a big no-no isnt' it? (Yes, I actually said "no-no"... it's sad, I know).
Buddy: It's a big yes-yes, mommy!!!!
And, this evening:
Buddy was running on one of the many walking trails here in Town when he got a stitch in his side, not understanding what was happening, he put his hands to his chest and said with a mournful look, "Mommy, my heart breaked!"
And, a few months ago:
Buddy was asking about a flag he saw. I explained that it was the Canadian Flag and that it was our flag, because we live in Canada. Later that week, he saw the flag again and said "Look Mommy! There's our flag!". I asked, "And do you remember where it's the flag for? Where we live?". He looked at me with pride and said "Canadian Tire!
The New Canadian Currency?
New Moms! Here's some advice... don't offer your kids Kraft dinner for lunch when you don't have any Kraft dinner.... Mind you all the new Moms out there are shaking their heads and saying to themselves "I would NEVER feed MY child Kraft dinner!!!"... Well to you, new Moms... I say "Just you wait!!!!" Haw-haw, I say!
Thank goodness for Jungle Buddies, they saved the day.
Saturday on the front linesOn a typical Saturday shortly after Buddy turned 3 it was raining, so I took the kids to McDonald's so that Buddy could play in the playroom. He had only been potty trained for a few months, so the first thing I did was to take him to the bathroom. He peed, but he was unable to poop. We had lunch and then he went to play.
Twenty minutes passed with no problems when, suddenly, his face appeared in the window of one of the tunnels. He gazed down at me with the innocence of angels. "I peed and pooped", he announced.
I told him to, "Get down here". When he made his way out, he was wet and poopy. Well, it was a shock because this was his first accident since he'd been toilet trained. I guess it was poetic justice that when he finally had an accident, it was in a big, theatrical way (in my mind anyway - I don't think I can imaging a worse place to have one... Except maybe one of those big ball rooms). I think he waited until it was too late because he was scared that if he told me he had to go to the bathroom I wouldn't let him come back after he was done and then playtime would be over.
So I took him into the bathroom and cleaned him up. I didn't have any other pants so he had to go to the car in his raincoat, naked from the waist down, under the coat, like a very small flasher. After we were done our clean up and surfaced from the bathroom, everything in my head and heart was telling to just get the hell out of there, but I knew my conscience would torture me later if I left without coming clean (so to speak). So I went up to the teenager cleaning the floor and said "I think my son had an accident in the playhouse. She said "Oh, no.... Do you know where?". So I interrogated Buddy and he admitted it was in the yellow tunnel. So the poor girl went to clean up his mess and we headed for home.
When we arrived (psycho music starts here) I put the kids in the bath. I considered this to be a very normal thing to do after a pee or poop accident. Monkey had a poopy diaper and I cleaned him off on his change table before putting him in the bath. So, I had both kids in a nice bath with all their bath toys and I sat down in the bathroom to give them time to play. Suddenly (and without warning) Monkey made a tell-tale grunting noise. I looked in the bath to see that he had taken an enormous man-sized poop in the water. I panicked, "Oh no, Oh no, Oh no... What do I do?". I wasn't sure whether to scoop the poop out or to get the boys out or what.
I rescued Monkey, who was just about to grab a handful, and sat him on the floor of the bathroom, then I rescued Buddy. Then I got a cleaning cloth and put it over the drain so the poop couldn't escape down. Then I drained the tub and moved all the toys to their net (where they're stored). Then I cleaned the poop out of the tub, cleaned the tub three times, put the kids back in and got them clean... put them in their beds and told them to stay there until mommy had everything cleaned up. I put the toys in hot soapy water in the sink and started cleaning the bathroom (which from my point of view at this point was completely contaminated).
That's when Hubby called from school, he always did have terrible timing. I told him "You have to come home right now!" He said "Why?". You can imagine my reply. Needless to say, he came straight home. So, I finished cleaning the bathroom, washed all the bath toys, put them in pots on the stove to boil them for a while to sterilize them. Then I gathered up the towels, dirty underpants and shorts from McDonald's, everything I was wearing etc for the laundry. When Hubby arrived I went to the laundry room and put the laundry on, came back, jumped in the shower, got dressed and went out to the movies for a well-deserved break.